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Monday, September 19, 2016, @ 09:00HR – Psych Appointment

I’ve been seeing my physician for a handful of years now. He’s a sweet, 30-something Vietnamese man with holistic and religious beliefs. I’ve been seeking his counsel, in search of answers that I was too timid to grasp that I already knew myself. I’d easily be deterred with remarks, claiming “the wait is usually really long, have you tried yoga? I have a great book to recommend, some vitamins, herbs…”

For my entire young adult life, I never understood [my] mental illness; fought myself between needing help, and not being broken enough to warrant it.

25 now (is that still a young adult?). Feeling like my 16-year-old self was stronger, however that could be, I decided to finally go for it. Maybe for the scripts, the novelty and romanticism of it all, but I finally sucked it up for that 1.5 month wait. August flew by and I was exhilerated by the date. September 19. 9 is my favorite number. This should be good.

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I left that office feeling wrongfully judged, the exact feeling that I get when trying to explain depression to people that don’t understand mental illness.

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In the midst of that wait, my doctor prescribed me an anti-psychotic usually prescribed to schizophrenics / a really good mood stabilizer in . It was great!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Until I developed an allergy to it. 1.5 months later.

I got switched over to Klonopin for my anxiety and that shit is funny. Warm and fuzzies with liquified muscles. I was mostly useless but felt great. Like an entire wall covered in shag carpet.

Anyone know anything about Lithium Carbonate for bipolarism?

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